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Today's virtual tour
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:41 pm GMT    Post subject: Today's virtual tour Reply with quote

We can't let Steve & Joe's World go a whole day without adding something to it. (OK, when we go to Origins we'll be too busy playing, but as a general rule...) So, here's a daily stop on a Virtual Tour of Steve & Joe's World, and we'll more or less alternate providing guidance through the strange, warped, and twisted place we call our home on the Forum.

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
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ddicerc
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Location: East Brunswick, NJ, USA

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PostPosted: Sun Mar 13, 2005 8:47 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

March 13, 2005-The 13th day of the month is an excellent time to drop in on the S&JW Dice Warehouse. Nestled in the foothills of the Kafnaysan Mountains, the S&JWDW is a 131,313 square foot facility containing dice and nothing but dice-primarily Dragon Diceā„¢, but here and there are spotted a few wandering items unfamiliar to the land of Cyrea. You may be wondering just how many dice there are in the warehouse. Actually, we don't know-about five weeks ago as we shoved a case of shrinkwrapped Magestorm in the back loading dock door we realized we had effectively blocked the last known entrance to the building. There are so many dice they take up every last square inch of warehouse space (not otherwise occupied by rats, cockraoches, and perhaps a Torg or two), and we are unable to budge any of the doors to get back in. So, sad to say, while in dice terms the inmates, er, residents of S&JW are the equivalent of Bill Gates, all of the dice are inaccessible, so we have to make due with the more modest collections kept in our basements and game rooms.
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The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 14, 2005 2:01 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

March 14, 2005 -

No tour would be complete without a stop at the Arcade. Just south of the Kafnysan warehouse, across the golden plains of Seshara, near the city center of Thurisa, and two blocks down from the Come On Inn, is the J&SW Arcade. Full of fun games, it's a wonderful place for the entire family and the die hard dice collector. For the cost of a common die you can play your favorite action or video game. Some of the games you can find there are:

Wack-A-Lutz: Grab a bludgeon and beat the stuffing out of varmint. No prizes, but lots of satisfaction.
Ski-DDRC: Toss a large rubber die down an alley into one of 5 targets. Get the bullseye and you are instantly ranted at by the members of the DDRC for playing too well.
CHUCK It!: Shuffle dice of varying rarity around on the playing field in an attempt to gain the most trade points against the Master Dealer. Scores of 10,000 or better win a Bronze Medallion, 50K a Silver, and over 100k gets a Gold! So far no one has ever beat the game.
Pac-Thug: Move your Trogā„¢ through the maze picking up dice while being chased by Selumari™ Champions. Grab the Rare Dragonhunter and smite the Champs for extra points!
Defender!: Fly your Frostwing defender over the hills, valleys and mountains of Esfah, throwing ice spears at Scalder mercenaries attempting to pick up Vaghan footmen.
Toss-Across: Your dwarf friends can't get over a chasm. How many can you throw over the gap without missing? Look out for Wyvern Riders, who'll snatch them away!

Redeem prize tickets for rare dice or cheesey stuffed versions of your favorite Dragon Diceā„¢ Character.

Don't forget to visit the Snack Bar, where they serve such delicacies as Coral Ice, Dwarf Drops, Trogā„¢ Dogs, and Swamp Patties. Be sure to get a hot cup of Lava Brew to go!


Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera...
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Tue Mar 15, 2005 9:31 am GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where do the characters from Chill Wind go when they're not engaged in thrilling action scenes? Why, they most often can be found hanging out at the Joe's Actors Guild HQ, located near the sunny shores of the Shining Sea in southern Tulgesh. The architecture of the three-story stone building reminds you a bit of a medieval castle, except for the wisps of steam rising from the hot mineral springs (nicknamed the Colorado Springs) that fill the members-only moat spa. As we enter, the vaulted ceiling of the welcome center draws your eyes up to the frescoed ceiling, depicting the final battle scene from Chill Wind. Off to the right are the heavy oak double-doors to the Reading Room, where we catch a glimpse of Thrag checking his portfolio in the Ra'al Street Journal (don't mention the glasses-he's a little sensitive about that). Glass paneled doors to the left lead into the Rec Room, where Geril and Laman have monopolized the foosball table again for their ongoing series. (Geril leads 183-136, but Laman has been on a hot streak lately.) The marble staircase takes us upstairs to the snack bar. It's early for lunch, but Eiwhaz is devouring his extra-rare steak, while Matrek munches on a raddiccio salad with bleu cheese dressing over a conversation about who's going to win The Game. Follow the landing around to the right to the studio, where Goblin Chieftain Cghuck is begging to be written into Eye of the Storm, while a group of Faeli try to perfect their battle scene under the critical eye of Lirk. Go the other way, and you find the rest rooms. The door to the Ladies' Room swings open as Junia emerges shaking her head (some mudstains still cling to the hem of her skirt), while an unseen chorus of Amazons sing their war chant (an event that happens every month or so). A Lich (named Clive Staples Chadwick III, which is why he didn't allow Joe to print it in the story) is cleaning up the mess left by a mob of Sarslayan outside the door (he's quite fussy about keeping things neat). Another set of glass doors open onto the balcony, where you find a breathtaking seafront view, and catch the hiss of Empyrea extras diving into the springs. A few of the Efflorah dangle their roots into the spa as they await word on possible cast openings for the sequel. The third floor is restricted, members-only territory. Several of the major characters have personal offices there, and the home office of the JAG is up there as well. (Current JAG president Morguus is nowhere to be seen, though; rumor has it he's on a talent scouting expedition up north. From outside you can see the super-sized entrance to his office, with stunning silver-plated jeweled doors rumored to have come from his personal collection.) So if you're looking for an autograph, or just like to glimpse your favorite stars at play, the JAG HQ in Tulgesh is the place for you!

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Wed Mar 16, 2005 8:16 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

As we pass through S&JW, we come to a small tunnel that seems to go nowhere. Still, curiosity gets the better of us, and we venture in. It takes just seconds to realize we are in the most frightening venue in all of S&JW-the Cave of Random Thoughts by Crazy Middle-Aged Dice Players. Horrific images fill every niche. Look, over there- a couple of girls, one in her teens, one about six, laugh and chat, plotting ways to drive their fathers crazy. Teenage boys gleefully gobble up handfuls of dice and spit them all over the cave, while one types away at a keyboard while chanting, "Way to go, Steve & Joe...". A group of men with "SFR" polo shirts run screaming from deep, booming voices coming from a crevice in the distance, and maniacal laughter follows them. A small goblin chieftain is subjected to the prods of Vaghan axes and Areosan icicles, while he runs around yelling "Off-topic! Off-topic!" A weary man, his features barely visible through choking clouds of dust, fills a bottomless box with kickers, all the time muttering, "I have to get this order filled so I can get back to the Forum." On the far wall, scribbled in what appears to be either blood or red Sharpie, are the words, "Origins Or Bust!" and a strange number 43. NO! I can't take it any more! Follow me as we escape with what's left of our sanity...

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera


Last edited by ddicerc on Mon Mar 21, 2005 4:58 pm GMT; edited 1 time in total
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PostPosted: Thu Mar 17, 2005 10:05 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Man, that was a scary place! Let's sit down and relax for a while at the SJ&W Root Beer Stand. You can get a Frostie mug (really, they're shaped like little Slayers or Magi, your choice $2.99 with any purchase) We can order a cheese steak and fried mushrooms (but not the Trogā„¢ or Sarslayan versions, 'nuff said). Pull up a chair, prop up your feet, and enjoy a few moments of-HEY!! DUCK!! UNDER THE TABLE!! This Selumari™-Morehl™ turf war is starting to get on my nerves. They both lay claim to the meadowlands around here-rumor has it that a noted Champion is buried down the end of the field. Y'know, Steve & Joe ought to put some more security around here. Think I'll go talk to the management right now. Excuse me, sir, but I'd like to-OW!! It's OK, it's only a flesh wound, and I don't think the arrow was poiso...

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Mon Mar 21, 2005 5:09 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

A stay at the Elemental Medical Center and Juice Bar in S&JW can be quite an educational experience. Each hospital room is equipped with all the necessities for a quick recovery from injuries, minor to mortal, sustained in your travels through our land. The very latest in Vaghan technology is available to the healers in our medical facility, although the majority of the doctors (at least the ones we trust) tend to be Selumari™. My recent run-in with a Selumari™ arrow made me a tad concerned about allowing one of them to touch me, so I chose Dr. Berrson Gowrr, a noted Ghwereste physician. (He also moonlights in a traveling magic show, doing birthday parties, showers, and bar mitvahs on the weekends for a reasonable fee.) Dr. Gowrr's care was excellent, and the superb rehabilitation facilities (featuring oak dice rollers, full-size battle mats, and a range of dice of all sizes and weights) had me back rolling the bones in no time. In addition to the excellent care, the EMC features a wide ranges of juices for all races. I stuck to the tried and true fruit concoctions (they have a nice frozen one featuring pineapples, coconut, lime, and some medicinal ingredients), but you can get everything from Dwarven Burrowroot Elixir to Sarsalyan Marsh Mixture (the smell of which is used by the doctors of air-based elemental races in a way similar to ammonia capsules). Good as new, I'm ready to leave and continue as your guide on our world tour.

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
Etcetera, etcetera, etcetera
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 04, 2005 7:40 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

The tour buses have been broken down for a while, but it looks like we've got the fleet back up and running again. While we prepare to depart, take a gander at the S&JW Transportation Depot. Sure, we've got your run-of-the-mill tour buses (seat 25, since we have to leave room for the special-order dicing tables between the seats) and the S&JW Monorail (currently undergoing renovations-danged green dragon breath really eats away at the paint job). But there are a host of other ways to get around S&JW. Perhaps you'd care to try one of the Selumari™ Coral Ship Air Cruises (not for those fearful of heights or queasy of stomach). A mountain tour from Balgavarr Expeditions is a highlight of many a tourist-where else can you see breathtaking mountain views from the back of a wooly mammoth? It's probably best to steer clear of Deathtakesaride Stables, especially if you have small children (a few of whom have mysteriously disappeared over the years around feeding time). Wyverns, leopards, wolves, wardogs, bears...it can be an intriguing sight, but these are best left to experienced riders. Amazon Wheels provides quick, point-to-point travel for wherever you want to go, but you gotta watch those women drivers. A true thrill for the adventure seeker (read: suicidal) is a dragon-back view of the coast by Lord & Hunter Stables. You can't beat the power of those elemental wings, but the rides are high-risk, with no guarantees ever made for your return. (Current survival rate is pretty good, about 68%.) Any way you want to travel, the S&JW Transportation Depot is the place to hitch a ride.
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The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 06, 2005 9:48 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Our next stop is just down the street from the transportation lot. Step up to the door (be sure to wipe your shoes on the mat), and enter the weird and wonderful shop that is... (Now before we go in, if you're one of those thin-shelled types with no sense of humor, you might want to wait outside. They don't cotton to that type in here).

"Spells-R-Us. Serving all your MAGICAL needs since last Thursday."

Here in this magical emporium you can find some of the more obscure spells and items not normall used in Esfah. Look over here. That's a Glade Golem, available in three fresh scents (Pine, Lemon and Fresh Spring),to freshen up that battlefield.

Just below that is a Snicker Foil. Under the sparkling wrap is caramel goodness that melts in your mouth or clogs the barrels of Morehl™ pistols. Next to them is a box of Grease Cutting Dawn Blades. Have nasty scorches in your cauldron? These babies will cut right through the toughest built up grime. Oh, and look here! A stack of folded Quilt Shields. Very lightweight and perfect for those cool nights, but not very effective protection when it really matters.

Over in the corner are some of the larger items for sale. The Mickey Mantlet is well known for its speed and power, but is a bit creaky in the joints. Stacked next to those you can see the Tree Buckets. Need syrup for your pancakes? These come in quite handy for sap collecting.

STOP! Don't touch that. It's a Maggot's Crown, and you don't want to know what it does. Some things are better left unsaid. Like what, you ask? Like when you blow your nose in a tissue and put the tissue in your pocket, but forget about it later when you go to get some change for the meter and you hand gooshes into the moist Kleenex... see? Some things are better left unsaid.

Moving on... here is an assortment of prepackaged spells for the wandering mage. Like we said, this is after-market stuff, so it is a bit unusual. Like this spell... Transmute Rocks to Spuds. Chips, anyone? It even has a companion spell for when you forget to bring that special someone flowers on your anniversary, Rocks to Buds. Or is it for when you forget to bring the beer to game night? Oh well, here's another, a healing spell. Has a nice little chant to go with it... "Oh-Blah-Dee, Oh-blah-dah, Life Goes On, waaaaah!, la la la la la, Life goes on!" Aha! One of my favorites when working on Amazon chariots, the "Tightening Bolt" spell: "Lefty loosey, righty tighty."

Wow, I thought these were long out of print. The infamous "Degenerate Dragon Diceā„¢ Player" spell. Throw this one at your worst enemy and they become... well, like us. Could be worse, ya know. And another one! "Explode Cone": "You scream, I scream, we all scream for ice ***BOOM!***

I told you not to touch anything, but I'll show you one last spell. "Transmogrify": Convert any cardboard box into the mode of transportation of your choice.

Let's get out of here before you really set somethig off. Hope you enjoyed your visit. Now get out.
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 13, 2005 7:31 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Shhh! Don't want to disturb the residents of St. Dodric's Home for Orphan Dice. Here is where all the poor, neglected dice in the game come to get a little bit of action when they aren't needed for a game, which is very often. Look-there's a Morehl™ Conqueror, searching under the bushes around the home for his missing icon. Is it a pistol or a poniard? A Frost Ogre takes a dip in the pool out back. Looking at the mess he's making, it's a good thing there aren't many of him around. Cross the Bridge to the exercise fields out back. A Gorgon runs laps...and laps...and laps on the worn-out track. (They levelled a Knoll to make space for it.) An Ettercap gets in some archery practice on the infield. In the open meadow behind the track, a Skeletal Steed charges-something it never got to do before, and won't ever get to do again. Ever wondered what an Ormyrr really looks like? That's one up on the porch, picking off flies with his tongue. A Daybringer circles the tower behind the home. (It's really an abandoned grain silo, but don't tell the residents.) Up in the entrance hall, a nice set of magic items-a Dawn Blade, Eyebiter, Silver Buckler, Winged Sandals, and Ring of Stars-sit in a dusty case. Over on the sofa sits a King-nobody remembers exactly what he was King of, but he looks good in his crown and purple robe. Rumor has it that an Unseeli Faerie pops in now and then, but no one's ever seen one. It's too depressing to watch them all sit around waiting for the "Committee" to come and make them useful again, so let's just leave them to their own devices and move on.

If you know of an orphan die that needs to be institutionalized here, PM Joe or Steve with its name and reason for entry, and we'll run it through the Network to see if we can find an opening for it.

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
Voted "Funniest Posters" by the members of the DDRC
Official Thorns in Chuck's Side
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 7:40 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ah, here's one of my favorite stops-the Seshara Spa. Now, you need to be very circumspect, because it isn't often that visitors are allowed in the spa. There's a good reason for that-a few years ago some Morehl™ paparazzi snuck in, and the pictures of the Amazons in, shall we say, less than full armor on the front page of the Cyrean Enquirer created a huge scandal in Cyrea. As a result, let's just say there are no more Morehl™ paparazzi-not just no more in Seshara, but no more, period. Started quite the little war-but I digress. Ever wondered how the Amazons stay in such top battle condition, but still emanate an aura of femininity (except for the War Chiefs, of course, but that's another story)? This is the place. Every Amazon warrior makes at least one trip a year to the spa for (according to the glossy promotional flyer) "a relaxing and rejuvenating experience that enhances natural beauty, brings a deepening of the spirit, and instills the blood with the dynamic spirit of the warrior." Take a look at the marble entryway, and notice the cute yet harmless males employed as receptionists, valets, and the like. Yes? No, I'm sorry, you can't go through the doors. This is as far as the tour is permitted to go-hey, get back here! I said...oh, well, javelin catching is an honorable profession here in Cyrea.
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Steve "DDice" Braun
The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 26, 2005 8:25 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Now that we have the tour bus running again, let's head up north for a look at the beautiful Kafnaysan Mountains. While we're here, we can stop at the legendary Balgavarr Lanes, home of the Dwarf Bowling League. (No, not that kind of dwarf bowling-just try to slide a Footman down an alley, and I guarantee you there will be a strike!) Perhaps the longest-running annual sports competition in S&JW, the DBL enters its 437th season with the defending champions, the Thunderfists, looking to pick up their 8th consecutive title and 44th overall. That would tie them with the greatest DBL team of all time, the Mammoth Sliders, for the most championships in league history. It won't be a cakewalk-the Frosty Mugs have put together a very competitive team (including the first Areosan to ever qualify for DBL play), while the always-tough Gartalan Gargoyles enter their 100th season hoping to make it a memorable one. Stop by on Friday nights this season, order a pint of dwarven ale at the snack bar, and watch these masters at work.
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Steve "DDice" Braun
The Diceman's Gaming Pages: http://ddicerc.weebly.com
2014-2015 U.S. National Champion
(Just when you thought it couldn't get any worse...)
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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 5:25 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today's tour stop is sponsored by Deeghter's Guitar and Gaming Emporium: "Let's rock and roll dem bones, baby!"

After a long, bumpy ride on the magic school bus from Cyrea (by using a school bus we discourage Goblins from tagging along), we arrive at the International Dragon Diceā„¢ Museum and Hall of Fame, located in picturesque Evanston, IL, founded in 2055. Here's where you can find artifacts and documents related to the game of Dragon Diceā„¢ throughout its history. There are the legendary dice misprints-the two-headed Goblins, three-headed Goblins, and even the freakish six-headed Goblins. There's an Unseelie Faerie-oops, no, sorry, I thought I saw one there. The original starter dice are on display, as well as the reprinted racial starters, the jacked-up Überstarters, and the seriously overpowered Munchkin starters. The Elder Races are there, along with the Second Races, the Not-Quite-So-Old races, the Middle Races, the Fairly New races, and the Really New races.

In the library you'll find many fascinating documents. The original rules folder (16 tiny pages). The Revised Rules (32 small pages). The DCM rules (a relatively small book, of which the rules are only a small portion). The Advanced Rules, 2005 (a 70 page PDF, with no pictures). The Revised Advanced Rules of 2008 (146 pages, plus a 75 page FAQ). The Second Edition Revised Advanced Rules of 2012 (206 pages, plus 340 page FAQ). The Internet New Official Rules of 2015 (3.6 MB Word document)...and on through the current Basic Rules (5.4 MB), Intermediate Rules (7.2 MB), Advanced Rules (12.7 MB) and Tournament Rules for Whacked-Out Rules Lawyers (20.6 MB rulebook, 125.4 MB FAQ, and 16 volume review of all court cases relating to the rules).

You'll also find the 20 volume set of "Once Upon a Forum" (volume 21 due out at GenCon 2056, written by the grandsons of the original authors), the full Chill Wind saga (all 55 volumes completed before author Joe "Warped" Joiner's untimely death at the hands of a young whippersnapper who questioned his rules interpretations at Origins in 2033), and, in full, glossy color, a complete printout of the Dragon Diceā„¢ Revival Cooperative website as it stood on May 15, 2044, the day the beloved Steve "Twisted" Braun passed on to that great gaming table in the sky.

The greatest literary treasure, of course, is the much-marked copy of the horrendous novel "Army of the Dead" that travelled over 1 million miles as it took on the autographs of many famous readers. Find Steve and Joe near the top, then many other famous readers-names so familiar I have no need to review them here. It was finally retired to the museum when there was no place left for anyone to sign it.

Artifacts belonging to some of Dragon Diceā„¢'s great figures adorn the Hall of Fame. Here's Deeghter's guitar-perhaps if he had learned to play Dragon Diceā„¢ better, he would never have achieved international stardom as a blues guitarist. Chuck Pint's gavel (well-known from the hit TV show, "Dragon Diceā„¢ Court"), Pat Pint's wooden spoon (though few know the whole story behind that one), the original T-shirts belonging to the SFR board (don't worry, they're hermetically sealed so you won't get a whiff of them), the original storage shed from the backyard of Cliff and Tiffany Wiggs (isn't it amazing to think that once all the Dragon Diceā„¢ in SFR's stock could fit in something so small?), Robert Braun's straitjacket (the one they used to cart him away after that notorious 4000 health Pelter battle), the official Battle Board from Air Force One (remember when the President's code name was "Zephras"?)...so many remarkable items that bring back great memories to the DD devotee.

In the Hall of Fame are also the plaques honoring such famous Dragon Dicers as Mark Wiker, Scott Cobbs, John Koslow, Sean Reynolds, and more throughout the history of the game. Off in one corner is a blackened plaque whose inscription has been obliterated-only the letters "tz" remain visible. And, of course, dominating the room, is the gold-plated statue and shrine to the immortal Lester Smith. It is a tradition to leave an Elder Race die at the foot of the statue on your first visit to the HoF. Those dice are used to create the impressive murals that adorn the facade of the museum. (NOTE: DO NOT sit on the two recliners near the side-by-side plaques honoring Steve and Joe, unless you like the sound of whoopee cushions).

The IDDM&HoF is a must-see for everyone who loves the game of Dragon Diceā„¢ (3,254,789,155 worldwide according to the last count available). Hope to see you in Evanston sometime soon!

Joe "Warped" Joiner and Steve "Twisted" Braun
Steve & Joe's World
Official Court Jesters of Dragon Diceā„¢
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Last edited by ddicerc on Tue Nov 01, 2005 9:26 pm GMT; edited 1 time in total
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Majiken
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Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado USA "My dice are higher than your dice!"

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 31, 2005 6:34 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

As we fly back into Cyrea after a brief detour to the toxic and humdrum wastelands of Illinois, we pass over the most recent monument (and an accidentally erected one...), namely that mountain over to your right that looks like a pile of small dice.

Yes, it is indeed a big pile of small dice. Ladies and gents, that is the one and only Pelter Mountain. Over 1 bazillion pelters from the Dragon Diceā„¢ game that were being airshipped out of Esfah and were dropped on the plains when the cargo plane's belly gave out. Rumor has it they were on their way to the mystical land of Noojerzy, and that the nut that ordered them was actually watching the plane go over when the entire pile landed on him.

Word is, a great sigh of relief went up in the DD community as the Great Pelter Debacle came to an inglorious conclusion.

Tour chariots to the mountain are available, but please don't go under the rope barricade or attempt to take even a single die away as a souvenir. Nasty things supposedly happen to would-be pelter thieves by the enraged ghost.

Now if you look out the left side.....
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ddicerc
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2008 8:45 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ignore that nasty little goblin poking his head out from under the tour bus- he's just cleaning the, uh, um, excess mobile organic units from out of the drive train...

There, all set to go. Here's an unusual stop on our tours- the Holy Chapel of the Almighty One. Please enter quietly. The Almighty One's name? We don't speak it aloud, kind of like Lord Vol- I mean, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. However, in the sacred writings (mostly by the prophet Joe of the Springs), the sacred Septagrammaton, TNPKCHC, is used.

Now over here we have the Shrines of the Twelve. One member of each race was chosen to be the leader of the Almighty One's worship. Of course, the races of Esfah being what they are, you can figure out the result. Not exactly a new set of apostles, to put it mildly. But we still keep one shrine for each race, more or less because that's the way we've always done it.

You see how supplicants to the Almighty One leave their gifts. Someone left one earlier today, over here on the goblin shrine. There's a nice shiny-hey, what happened to the Pelter that was on this shrine? Has Pelter Boy been in here again? When I get home, I'll...oh, sorry, folks. Ahem. I guess there wasn't a gift left today, but I can guarantee there will be one left tomorrow if someone knows what's good for him.

This chapel is run by the southern branch of the Church of Cyrea. Legend has it that the notorious-I mean, famous dwarven cleric Stevik I (whose descendant of the same name appears in the stories about the goblin chieftain Chguck) was the founder of this chapel, although its true origin is shrouded in mystery. Still, the Second Tulgesh Union Period-Interior Deco features give us a clue that he must have had a hand in it somehow.

If you are so inclined, leave a gift at one of the shrines, or in the alms box at the back of chapel. Proceeds go to the Pelter Boy Re-education Fund. Thank you. Now let's get back on the bus and move on-I meant AFTER the goblin moved, driver! Oh, well, looking out the right side...
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 01, 2008 9:25 am GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

A signal from outer space arrives....
it is from the Dwarves in Space....




Urgent.....
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain



Chguck
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 8:22 am GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Urgent.....
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain
reset auto-pilot to Pelter_Mountain


Razz Should I press the red button?
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Deeghter
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PostPosted: Thu Jul 03, 2008 12:40 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

If you were Chguck I would say "DON'T!!!!" and you would press it anyway.

So:

Just go ahead and you will probably blow up the forum.

Even worse: it might be the door bell to S&JW and somebody might actually open the door and let you in!!! Shocked

But don't blame me afterwards.
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:13 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just then...the cloaked one stood up in the tour bus...
murmuring...

should have pressed the button while you had the chance....

and departed the tour bus.........


Last edited by DEEPBLUEB2 on Tue Aug 05, 2008 9:48 am GMT; edited 1 time in total
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Majiken
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PostPosted: Mon Jul 14, 2008 1:18 pm GMT    Post subject: Reply with quote

For the safety of passengers and guides, all buttons are for show only, and are connected to nothing save for a device that drops a flag in front of the face of the pusher. It reads -

L

Gotcha.
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Most people are like Slinkies ...
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but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
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